I’m not dead….

I have been out and about doing lots of things lately. I will be ready to post back in a couple days when the dust settles.

Hold on!

Why This Beer is Better Than Yours!

As many of you that know me personally are aware, I am a homebrewer. I have a love of good beers that span different categories. I also like recommending said good beers to friends, family, and strangers alike. So here’s the first installment of what I hope will be many about beers that will fill the void in your life.

Part 1: Brewery Ommegang!

The Brewery Ommegang is a younger brewery based in Cooperstown, NY that specializes solely in Belgian style ales. The author holds a very special place in his heart for this style of beer, which is why it is the inaugural topic of this article. Belgian beers have a very distinct taste due to the yeast strain used in the fermentation process. The aromas and flavors that are associated with these ales are cloves, banana, orange, and other various fruits and spices.

You are probably saying, “There should never be fruit in beer”

In response I say that it is like champagne.

Again you say, “But Miller High Life is the champagne of beers!”

I will then look at you in the most Arrogant Bastard way.

Good description, another article however

What beers do I recommend most from this fine brewery? Here are a couple.

Rare Vos: This amber ale is a beer that has been touched by the hand of God himself. The smell of clove and spiced orange should be an indication of this. When poured into it’s glass you get the look of an amber ale with a very crisp looking head. The taste is phenomenal and is truly the point where you need to have a seat and think of how beautiful life is.

The God Beer

Hennepin: This golden ale is almost lager like in appearance and taste. If it weren’t for the fact that it’s non-filtered, you’d think otherwise. The taste is very crisp and clean and has the flavors of a typical belgian style with the clove and fruit flavor. A great summer beer or cigar beer.

Crispy!

There are other good beers by this esteemed brewery, these are just a couple of the standouts.

Cheers!

A message from Apple CEO, Steve Jobs

To my loyal Apple Subjects,

Do you remember how I told you all that my weight loss was due to a hormone imbalance? Well I may have told you some non-truths about that.

The truth is I do have pancreatic cancer. I have been undergoing one of medicine’s most routine treatments for this illness and had The Proteus and her crew injected into me to cure me of this minor inconvenience.

Everything was going fine until they reached their one hour time limit and started to slowly return to normal size. My immune system immediately started to seek them out and they had to take some evasive action. When they left, they took a lot of my white blood cells with them.

That was quite a fantastic voyage they took. So fantastic that I’ll be taking a 6 month vacation in a lovely plastic bubble on the beach near Waikiki Beach. I figured I deserved the time off. I’ll be returning with the next big thing in July, the iCEO. It’s sleek, stylish, built of recycled organs and completely eco-friendly!

See you in July,

Steve

Happy I-Day! Let’s Get One Thing Straight Though

Happy day, the changing of the guard is here! This is a pretty momentus occasion clearly as we are definitely over due for an overhaul of governing. While I am overjoyed to have been apart of this event in terms of the popular vote, I find myself still a little cynical in reading Digg and seeing how divided a people we still are. I came across an article that was written by Rush Limbaugh, that in a nutshell was all about how he hopes that Obama gets everyone’s hopes up.

This is when I snapped on the Digg page for this and decided to write a bitter and distasteful comment directed at Mr. Limbaugh. Something to the tune of,

“This is the part where I wish for Limbaugh’s heart to fail due to to massive opiate addiction.”

While that was definitely harsh on my part, it was my own showing of how we still have to work to not be as polarising and attack people on a personal level. Here are the following comments however that were in reply to mine.

“Where is your tolerance and compassion?”

And the straw that broke the camel’s back for my next outburst,

“Wasn’t that a happy thought from a happy little liberal. Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine?!?”

As wrong as I was to say what I did, this made me even more annoyed. I may be a liberal, but I bring you our other example of generalization this post. Now, I’m a generally person if you personally know me however, I am human and I have my problems. Problems like being generalized into a category and people who are ignorant of the words they are using. It was after I wrote the following comment in reply that I realised we need to help ourselves as much as possible to make the next four years better than the last eight.

“The fact is that liberalism doesn’t mean that I have compassion and tolerance for all people. Also, how are you to assume that I’m a liberal because I dislike Rush Limbaugh (who by the way is a far right conservative because he feels that is how he will be heard louder and make more money)? He’s a very hypocritical person because it’s very convenient to make his own double standard and I believe that anything that comes out of his mouth, such as this article, should be ignored.

Liberalism is a term for how you interpret laws and the constitution…being and ethical human is where you get love and compassion from.

Don’t challenge one’s humanity for having a political opinion. They are two realms that need to be separate, hence why this country is so divided.”

The part I neglected to add on here was that yes it was harsh, but don’t judge if you aren’t perfect.

Barack can’t do it on his own, he hasn’t presented himself as the Messiah so we need to come together as the 300 million strong we could potentially be.

Otherwise, HAPPY OBAMADAY!

How Much Do You Want to Bet…?

Have nothing else better to do during the inauguration of Barack Obama?

Are you a compulsive gambler or heavy drinking game player?

If your answer was yes, the crinkling of money, or some profanity that reeks of bourbon, I have the perfect situation for you!

Knoxville, TN's entry for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

In a recent news article, a Swedish online betting website has captured the hearts of it’s core audience by putting odds on certain words that Obama may or may not say during his inaugural speech on Tuesday. The two words with the highest odds against them as of now are, “Banana” and “Angela Merkel” (Chancellor of Germany). Both of these words weigh in at the hefty odds of 1000:1  While these are somewhat definite no-shows in the President-Elect’s speech, someone should tip Barack off to this wager so he can reward the truly daring people of this world. The more obvious words such as “Change” and “United States” had nearly 1:1 odds.

Here’s how Obama should open his speech, “I’d like to open by saying that I had a banana for breakfast this morning with Angela Merkel. For those of you who bet the longshot words, you know what’s coming to you”

College students and career drinkers all around will most likely be able to play the Inauguration drinking game. There is no need to explain much more than the words “Hope”, “Change”, and “United States” are the trigger words. This will most likely incapacitate a good portion of the population of college campuses, so why not make Inauguration Day a holiday.

Here’s to an intoxicated and potentially wealthy day for some folks!

Cheers!

I Think We Are Taking Bailouts a Little Too Far…

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you probably have been hearing the newest addition to Noah Webster’s word book, bailout. It’s the latest craze in these economic hard times that is sending large, multi-billion dollar industries to beg the government for a leg-up in these rough times. This is not unlike college students going to mom and dad after learning the lessons of fiscal irresponsibility (Though like many college students, it is just expendable party money).

After the bailout of the Financial and Auto Industries, one would assume that said companies would be on the mend or somewhere in the way of progress. I would then laugh and then declare that we have officially hit rock bottom. The Porn Industry has petitioned for a bailout! That’s right, the one industry that is as old as the world’s oldest profession, an approximately $10 Billion a year industry (that’s just the low estimate) is asking for a bailout. Personally I believe that a good majority of it is going to “Girl’s Gone Wild” creator Joe Francis to assist his various legal troubles. Either way, let the record show that the economic troubles have reached a new low with porn taking a dive in income. Is this a reorganization of our priorities or is it far more sinister?

Joe Francis will be using the bailout money to reverse a botched botox operation

The Beginning of Another Blog

Why hello WordPress folk, I am trying this again, now with a renewed fervor. I am a failed full-time blogger due to lack of updates after a while. That is where I plan to change this new blog and make it more consistent in material. The benefit to this one is that I pay no money to fuel a need to be heard unlike my former site. The thoughts just couldn’t hold back any longer and now I will be broadcasting them again for as long as I have the wind.

The first posts are always the boring and awkward ones. For this I apologize.